To the bloke on the 8:49 train to Manchester Victoria this morning.
Thank you for peppering your outburst at being asked to get off the train for fare dodging with the f-word. I am now able to converse with frequent insertions of the word, substituted for normal everyday un-offensive words. This has no doubt extended my vocabulary some what.
Thank you for setting my day up so well and for making me feel so threatened and scared whilst pressed against the window seat so that the guards and Transport Police could remove you from the train toilet.
Even my ipod shuffle with Prince's Let's Go Crazy guitar riff could not drown out your pathetic shouting and ranting that you had to run across the station as your 8:47 train from Preston to Manchester Airport was delayed due to a landslide at Lancaster which meant that you could not buy a ticket.
But still, you insisted that you were at platform 6 in plenty of time to catch the 8:47 and the inconvenience was that you had to run across to platform 2 for the 8:49 hence why you did not buy a ticket.
Get up earlier and get to the station on time and buy a ticket like everyone else.
Get a grip of yourself and do not rant and rave, swearing and striking the train conductor.
Just think about how you made me and all the other passengers feel this morning. It's a Monday for goodness sake - if a Monday is pants then the rest of the week follows suit. So thanks again.
PS The station staff were fab and so professional - thank you Virgin Trains!